God's Been Tapping My Phone

(Kevin Gilbert)

I spoke to God last night
You know He wasn't that glad to see me
He just walks right in
And said I'd failed him completely
He gave me just today
To see if I could find
Just one person
Who thinks I'm good for anything

And so I phoned you up
I thought that maybe you could help me out
I know you're on the spot
I know there's lots that we should talk about
But I don't have much choice
'Cause I can seem to find
Just one person
Who thinks I'm good for anything

So please just say
I'm not such a bad guy anyway
Or am I?
This time my goose is really cooked
I wonder just how long He's known
God's been tapping my phone
I guess that's why I'm always alone
God's been tapping my phone
I guess that's why I'm always... I'm always alone

So me and God we talked
He said that Heaven wouldn't let me in
And I tried to tell my side
But that's an argument I couldn't win
Because He knew each lie
That I told to you
And I thought He only
Heard me in confessional
Or so they said
In my old Sunday school
I guess the joke's on me

Who knows how much
He's overheard
This time I'm all alone
God's been tapping my phone
I guess that's why I'm always alone
God's been tapping my phone
I guess that's why I'm always alone