(Nick D'Virgilio, Kevin Gilbert Brian MacLeod, Jon Rubin)

Hi! Wow, I just can't believe my luck.
I mean, imagine the computer matching me up with someone as perfect as you.
Where do you want to sit? In the corner?
Yeah, great, I love corners.
They're so cozy.
Oh yeah, this is a great restaurant.
I'm really glad you picked it.
Do you like to cook?
I love to cook. I'm a pretty good cook myself.
And I'm not talking bachelor food.
I make a terrific Vegan soufle
Would you like some wine?
Oh no, I don't drink
I think the body is a temple.
I work out four times a week, rain or shine.
My family?
I'm an only child
My father died when I was seven
Oh no, it's ok.
I've achieved closure.
And I'm really good friends with my mom.
We listen to each others' problems
We help other.
I guess a lot of people are pretty cynical about family and love in the 90's
But not me.
I still think love is the one thing that can bring the whole world together.
But enough of this heavy stuff.
Do you like to read?
I love to read.
I just finished a great book: Bridges of Madison County
I guess you can say I'm still Robert looking for my Franchesca
I know she's out there
Yeah, maybe you're her

First I'll strip off all your clothes
And put them on me
Then you'll spank me for being a bad
little girl, daddy
Then I'll leave you and I'll take pictures and send them to us.

But I just don't read love stories
I also love Anne Rice
And Shakespeare
And sometimes late at night when I can't sleep
Uh, this sounds stupid
I like to write poetry
I really like Haiku
You know what that is?
Yeah, the Chinese… they're so Eastern
Do you like kids?
I love kids
I want to have kids of my own some day
Maybe adopt like an underprivileged child
I think I'm kind of a kid at heart
I love to have fun and just be silly

Uh oh, baby's made a mess
Time for rubber nurse to change baby
Cause I've been a bad little girl, daddy

Well, right now I'm finishing up my doctorate:
I did my thesis on womens' issues
I guess sometimes male psychotherapists
Can be pretty insensitive to a woman's special needs
And then on weekends I've been volunteering time at an animal shelter
I just can't believe that someone would hit a defenseless animal

Hit me, hit me
Make me your toilet
I want to tie you to my bed and smear dog food on my penis
And then make you watch while my dog licks it from me
Cause I've been a bad little girl, daddy

Where you going?
Fix your makeup?
I don't know why…
You're so beautiful
I bet you look amazing in the morning
With fresh welts from your morning punishment
Tipsy? Oh no, you're doing great
Shall I get us another bottle of wine?